Tuesday, January 15, 2013

3. How To Stop Fighting And Reach A Compromise?

To stop fighting and reach a compromise will be the ideal of anyone. But this often seems an impossible thing to achieve. There are times in any relationship when the differences escalate into disputes and you find yourself fighting with the other person. This can happen in any relationship including the one among  friends, business partners, family members and partners in a marriage. When you are on the verge of fighting, it may appear that a showdown is inevitable and that your relationship is on the verge of breaking.

Please remember that is possible to stop fighting and save the relationship at any stage, even at a stage that is sometimes described as a point of no return. You just need to take three steps.

Understand yourself:  No, I am not stating the obvious. It happens quite often that we lose our perspective and keep fighting for something that may not be important for us. Ask the question: What am I fighting for? Is it what I want? Is this more important than the relationship I am likely to lose? Asking questions like these will help you find some answers which may make you see the issue in a different light.

Understand the other person: Obviously, this process should follow your understanding of your own needs. What does the other person want? What is he or she fighting for? Will they accept something else that I may be able to offer? In what way, does the perception of the other person differ from your own? Can there be a point of convergence?

Work out a compromise: If you have taken the first two steps, this step will be easy. First make your partner understand that you are not interested in fighting with them but in finding a solution. In most of the cases, they will reciprocate your approach. If they do not, they will come around after sometime, unless they are completely obstinate in which case, you may decide that fighting with them is the only option. Ask questions of your partner. Find out their line of thinking.

Following the above steps, you will succeed in stopping fighting at any stage, arriving at a compromise and putting your relationshipback on the rails.

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